Meet Hermes
by Milkamoo97
Summary: This is my year, I can feel it. You're looking at Olympus' new big man on campus. I'm talking celebrity A-list people-you're going to see me at all the Olympian parties looking fine- after I've delivered all of the mail of course...


**Meet Hermes**

**One Shot **

**Hey mi amigos! As promised here is another one shot in my new thing- Meet the Gods series. After I got positive feedback on **_**Meet Apollo**_** (which if you haven't read yet please do! You'll love it hopefully! Honest!) hehe I thought I should do another one for you guys :') So I hope you like it and please remember to leave a review! **

**I also posted a story similar to this and **_**Meet Apollo**_**, and it's **_**Meet Hades! **_**Please check it out if you haven't already and please check out my multi-chapter story **_**Like Fools And Horses**_** :')**

**Also I have another PJO one-shot called **_**Grounded **_**please check it out if you haven't already hehe :D**

**Feel free to leave reviews! I love your opinions on my work!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything :'(**

I'm the postman. The loyal, trustworthy postman. But nobody gives me any credit or thanks for my hard work do they? No. I'm fed up with no appreciation for my work. And don't even get me started on tips! This is hard labour that I am doing here and nobody even gives me so much as a drachma?!

xoxo

"Any more matters which anyone would like to discuss before we end the meeting?" Zeus asked

"Yes" Aphrodite" spoke up sounding serious "Hermes, have you got the delivery for my make up yet? I ordered it a week ago!"

I rubbed my temples and sighed, this was the fifth time she has asked me in the past two days.

"Oh yes, and Persephone asked when her next statue will be delivered" Hestia piped up from her fire.

"And my wheat magazine!" Demeter cried out "I haven't had one in the past two weeks"

"That's because you have a _monthly _subscription" I groaned

"I'd also like to know when my books will arrive, I still have a bookshelf which needs filling up" Athena added

"Nobody cares about your word pages, Bird Brain" Poseidon snorted "I'm waiting for something far more important, my games for my new game room!"

"They're called _books_, Barnacle Beard, and nobody cares for your petty problems" Athena retorted

"My problems are not petty!" Poseidon shouted.

And that was when the whole throne room went into uproar, and guess who they blamed? Me.

"SILENCE" Zeus demanded

Thank the Fates- any more complaints about my work and I would have gone crazy. I already have a headache just thinking about all the work I have to catch up on because of this meeting!

"I think that we have all come to the conclusion that Hermes needs to work longer hours…" Zeus declared.

Everybody nodded in agreement apart from me "WHAT?"

It seemed as if my comment was ignored so I stated "Alright then, Zeus, I do have something to share with the council"

"And what would that be Hermes?" he yawned

I threw my caduceus on the ground and yelled "I'm on strike!"

Most of the faces of the other Olympians were shocked- except for Apollo's which looked confused, probably because he didn't know what it meant.

"Surely you don't mean that Hermes" Athena exclaimed.

"I do! None of you appreciate me. Now I want to see how well you all get on without me and I don't need to be psychic to tell you that you need me more than you think! Good luck without me"

I stormed out of the throne room smirking- there is no way that they will be able to manage without me, I'm certain of it. Looks like I can finally get some relaxation time. I wouldn't be so uptight about all of this if I actually was allowed some time off every once in a while. But now they want me to work for even _longer?_ Forget it. I think after this strike I shall be re-enforcing some rules such as 'No mail on Sunday'. I used to love that rule but then Zeus abolished it.

A week passed and I was still happily relaxing in my Olympus home. The others must be hoping that I'll give in first, but I refuse to. I'll let them believe that I am growing bored of not having anything to do, but in reality I have never felt better. Without all the constant stress of deliveries and journeys I feel younger and more refreshed. I then sensed some godlings and a saytr enter my abode. Of course the other Gods would get their children to do the dirty work for them. It's pathetic really.

"Hello" I greeted cheerfully as they stood facing me from the other end of my sun lounger.

"Erm, hey Lord Hermes" Percy replied and I saw the others come into view, whom I recognised as Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena. Nico DiAngelo, son of Hades and Grover. The saytr.

"What brings you godlings here?" I asked taking a sip from my strawberry smoothie.

Percy sighed "We need you back Lord Hermes"

"And why is that?" I inquired

"The others may not see it Lord Hermes, but you are extremely important to the Western Civilisation!" Annabeth reasoned "We all need you"

I noticed that Hades' kid was being unusually quiet during this session of inflating my ego.

"What do you think Nico?" I asked

He shrugged "I think you should do whatever you want to personally"

That earned him a smack upside his head from Percy, an angry bleat from Grover and a scolding of '_Nico!'_ from Annabeth.

"What?" he defended "He's a God! What are some words from demigods going to do to change his mind?!"

"You make a valid point" I considered "Words from demigods aren't going to change my mind- however certain words from Gods will"

"W-where are you going with this L-lord Hermes?" Grover stuttered

"I want each of the Olympian Gods to individually and sincerely apologise to me. Only then will I deliver them their mail" I decided

"Seriously?" they all groaned.

"Yes" I nodded "That is the only thing that will get me back to my job, also I have a few announcements for them all as well"

Within the next week nearly all of the Gods came to apologise to me and I started delivering mail again. Just Zeus to go now. I must admit it does feel nice to be doing my job again after a very much deserved break.

"Hermes" Zeus addressed me before I was about to go in my home.

"Yes, father" I answered smirking

"Look I just wanted to say…I'm." he mumbled the last part and even though I knew it was an apology I wanted him to say it. Loud and clear.

"Sorry, what was that?"

He mumbled once again, although a little louder and I replied "Come again?"

"I'm _sorry_, alright! I shouldn't have took advantage of you" He growled

"And?" I teased

"_And_ you don't have to work longer hours" he groaned.

"Thank you Father" I nodded.

"Yes, whatever, can I have my mail now?" he sighed

"Actually, as part of my new policy, I don't deliver mail on Sundays. See you tomorrow!" I

xoxo

"Hey Luke!" I called out to my son

He looked at me with an icy glare and replied "Yes, Lord Hermes?"

It stung me that he didn't want to call me Dad- but we've had this disagreement before and I didn't want to go over it again at the point in time. Some things are just better left unsaid.

"You, my boy, are going on a quest, that is if you accept it of course" I smiled brightly.

At the mention of a quest his face brightened up slightly but he quickly returned to his cold attitude and asked "What kind of quest?"

"Ah yes, it is all part of a new prank that I'm playing on Hera to get revenge on all the times she sent monsters after me, and cows.." I grimaced "But it shall be wonderful! Now I need you, my boy, to steal one of her golden immortality apples"

Luke raised an eyebrow "That's it?"

"This is no small feat Luke" I told him seriously "You'll need to get past that blasted dragon of hers, Landon, first. I wouldn't recommend killing him because that may be taking the prank to far-" _And then Hera will blame you and send things after you, I don't want to see you get hurt…._ "- but seriously hurting or maiming probably wouldn't matter. As long as you get in and get out as quickly as you can"

"Right, sure I'll do it" he shrugged "Might as well since there is not much to do around here anyway"

"Thanks Luke" I smiled gratefully, putting my hand on his shoulder "This is going to be the best prank ever"

"Whatever" he sighed

It started to turn awkward when I remembered "Oh yes- I've got these for you to help with the quest"

I handed him a shoebox and he gave me a look as if to say _'Really? I'm going on a dangerous quest and you're giving me a brand new pair of shoes…'. _But these are no ordinary shoes. He opened the box and a seemingly normal pair of converses lay inside.

"Erm, thanks.."

"I'm not finished yet" I smirked and before he could question me I shouted "Maia!"

The shoes grew a pair of wings each and jumped into the air, I grabbed them both before they could escape, they are sneaky little buggers. Luke stared at them in awe and I was proud that I could give him something that he liked.

"Maia" I repeated and the shoes went back to normal.

I put them back into the box and Luke said "Wow I don't know what to say…thanks!"

"Don't mention it" I smiled "…Just be careful, okay? It's dangerous out there"

"'l'll be fine" he promised "I survived all those years with just a golf club- I'm sure this will go much better" he ignored my wince at the mention of his run away years "So when does this quest start?"

"As soon as you are ready to leave the borders of camp" I replied

Little did I know that this quest would cause Luke to resent me more than he already did. Sure, in the end he died a hero, but he shouldn't have died that early into his life. He should of had a family, got a job, grow up to be a better father than I ever was.

xoxox

"Travis! Stop moping around and help us!" Conner scolded his twin brother Travis.

Currently, as an attempt to spend more time with my children after what happened with Luke, I am now bonding with Travis and Conner by setting up pranks around camp. I did suggest around Olympus but the twins decided that the consequences and Annabeth's anger were not quite worth it yet.

We were trying to set up flour bombs in the kitchen, pretty basic for master pranksters but it is a classic one, but Conner and I could tell that Travis wasn't into it.

"For Gods sake, just ask her out already!" Conner shouted at him.

"Ask who out?" I asked interested in the gossip.

Ignoring my question Travis replied "Ew…why would I want to ask out Katie? Gross"

"Because you two are perfect for each other but you are both too stubborn to realise it!" Conner explained, scaring me a little

"You sounded exactly like Aphrodite then, are you alright son?" I asked checking his forehead for a temperature but he swatted my hand away laughing.

"I'm fine Dad, Travis just needs to hike up his skirt and ask out Katie, from the Demeter cabin, they are both obviously head over heels for each other" Conner exclaimed "Get it together Travis! You're a Stoll!"

I chuckled to myself when reminded of their last name. An opportunity that I couldn't pass up being the God of Thieves.

"Oh girl troubles…and from one of Demeter's kids? Ouch. Just don't let Demeter know of your relationship otherwise she'll never leave you alone" I warned "Although it may give Hades and Persephone a nice break"

"Yeah, thanks for that Dad" Travis replied awkwardly "But we're not in a relationship and I doubt she likes me anyway so…"

"Of course she likes you!" Conner protested

"Oh yeah, and that is why she reminds me of how much she hates me every time she sees me" Travis pouted.

"Girls are complicated Travis. They say they like you when they don't, and they say they hate you when they like you…chances are she really does hate you…"

"Great Dad, I'm really glad we had this chat" Travis scowled

"Alright, let me finish" I chuckled "There is also that chance that she may like you but she thinks you don't like her. Just ask her out when you're alone together and if she says no, just stay as 'friends"

"Right" he nodded taking in all the information I gave him "I'll do it tonight- it's our turn to patrol the borders of the camp, thanks Dad"

"No problem" I smiled "Now lets' do this quickly before Dionysus and Chiron get back otherwise we'll be in major trouble" I told them.

xoxo

**So mi amigos what do you think? Like it, Love it, Hate it? Hehe please leave your comment in a review! I love to see what you think! **

**Also please check out **_**Meet Apollo **_**and **_**Meet Hades **_** if you haven't already! :') Please leave a review there as well so I know what you think :)**

_**Like Fools And Horses **_**should be updated in a couple of days, sorry for the long wait! **

**Until next time mi amigos! :') **


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